July.


sometimes i wonder if god is really there for me,
i am very uncertain, very confused and i am planning to deceive myself
that this is all just a test, for my faith
and my abilities.

July wasn't definately not a blast.
it came nicely at the start with lots of band practs to keep me company for the
up coming NBC
i hadn't had much time to think much
to digest much.

then came joy on 13th July, happiness filled me
AT that moment. it was short-lived.
somehow i knew it wasn't my Best Shot.

some heart-breaking news,
more facts + truths came to light,
friends leaving for ip.
the harsh truth.

but i am glad it wasn't some bad stuff like
" oh someone had backstabbed me" and " i should be crying my heart out now"
so i am still smiling.
to be exact, it's a half smile.

rather now, i know that i have been immersing myself in the world of internet
to escape from reality coz
the eletricity bill was "wow"

my mum had her first suspisions on me,
it was a bull eyes cos i agree that i spent a lot of time on the net.

and i hope i won't anymore.
i want a life.

this is stupid.